sábado, 31 de diciembre de 2016

Essay on International Development for my MSc

For my MSc in Development Studies I have written the fallowing essays. They show my main interest and explain my passion to lead an important changes, whenever possible. Hope you going to enjoy them the same I enjoyed working on them. They are not perfect, but back then they were perfect for me. 
Get inspired, continue where I left, but most important continue bringing new ideas.  

1. WTO; Trading the PoorWhy should developing countries continue their membership of WTO? 07-01-2015

2. Aid: past, present and futureUnder what conditions can aid disbursement be most effective? 12-01-2015
5. FAIR TRADE COFFEE FARMING IN NICARAGUA (13-01-2016) A research proposal. 
The impact on Fair Trade certification on the household income and social development projects.
6.UNHCR and the Balkan wars A humanitarian dilemma (14-01-2016) Discuss critically the extent to which UNHCR mandate to provide protection to refugees was compromised by the role they played in the former Yugoslavia in which refugees, as part of the western government of containment, were effectively prevented from leaving to seek asylum elsewhere.

At the moment, my dissertation on Youth Unemployment in Macedonia will remain unavailable. 

Митот за Југославија

Штета што не пишувам на македонски ова дисертацијава. Има да плачат луѓе од гнев. Сеуште, ни трага ни глас од „економското чудо Југославија„. Македонскиве економисти не ја нашле, странскиве уште повеќе ќе те расплачат. За секое „чудо„ што знаеме има објаснување како се случило: пари се печатело без врска, се вработувале без врска, се прикривало на мртво тоа што нечинело. Ни социјална еднаквост, ни бакрачи. На крајот од осумдесеттите толку се продлабочила, што пукнала (празна) торбата.
Во моментов сум заглавена до 90тите, не можам да мрднам од вчудоневиденост затоа што сакам добро да испитам каде тргнало на лошо и имало ли некоја корист конкретна (секако дека да).
Невработеноста во МК води потекло од кога се прават првите мерења (имам податоци од 1945 па наваму).
Она што ми паѓа во очи е дека уште тогаш (во 80 тите) македонските економисти викале (џабе се мастравеле) да го оставите тој систем и да се свртите кон она што го порачувал Кејнс (Државна интервенција и пазарна економија комбинирано) зароа што неекономските критериуми на работење толку ја истоштија Македонија (ич не ми е гајле за другите во Југославија) што нема глава да крениме со децении после осамостојувањето.
Јане Милјоски ви порачува (Невработеност, 1986): „Не може да се каже дека таков скап и гломазен систем е добар„. И се докажа дека не чини.
Уште тогаш Ксенте Богоев порача дека треба заштита на важните индустрии преку државни мерки како по примерот на Јужно азиските тигри во првите години од економскиот развој додека не создадеме индустрија која ќе не изваде од мизерија.
И двајцата досега ми даваат солидни аргументи кои што сум ги сретнала преку примери за економии во развој кои служат како пример. Воопшто ништо не измислуваат ниту произволно си кажуваат.
Дури и во самите книги на српско-хрватски се зборува на големо за огромните разлики во развојот на една република споредено со друга. Во книгата "Ekonomika Jugoslavije" (Белград, 1991) на големо се зборува за тоа како Македонија пропаѓа и е една од најзаостанатите економии.
P.S. Напишано пред неколку месеци, само што заборавив да го објавам. Тогаш бев зачудена од тоа што го прочитав, затоа што на училиште друго не учеа. Затоа сега не верувам никому, ниту самата на себеси. Тешко дека сум некогаш во право, ама постојано учам.


martes, 20 de diciembre de 2016

Магистер по Наука со заслуги: И тоа бидна - сега што?

И тоа бидна. Магистер по наука со заслуги т.е. научник сум официјално по Развојни науки. Тоа значи сѐ знам за сиромаштија и беда. Каква и глупост да треснам, се важи како ептен да ме бидува и мора „Амин„ на се што ќе кажам :).
Прилеп - тоа мермерот во зима боли кога ќе се слизнеш на мраз. 


Има три нивоа: М-р, М-р со заслуга и М-р со особено постигнување. Значи нешто како осумка му доаѓа. До крајот на студиите не знаев што значат оценките па се бунев на секое, а професорите ми се смееја дека многу драматизирам хе, хе.
Е па тоа што се искурназив да пишувам за МК а книга нема тука за МК (оригинални ми се мислите, ама пак морам да ги одбранам дека и друг некој нешто слично смислил) ме чинеше скапо. Од сите оценки, најслаба ми е за Македонија, Тоа кога се прајш паметен и на крај ќе се изглупираш. Излегува дека повеќе знам за Индија од Македонија, затоа што повеќе литература и научно истражување за Индија од Македонија.
Основната забелешка ми беше колку треба да си навистина сиромашен за на некој да му падне жал и да преземи нешто на таа тема? Без разлика дали е Македонија или некоја побогата или посиромашна земја, сите работат на програми за сузбивање на сиромаштијата и социјалната исклученост.
Сите други се беа паметни и пишуваа за бегалската криза, јас мислев дека невработеноста во МК е сериозен проблем. Го следам јавното мислење и тоа е што ме инспирира за секоја од темите што ги обработувам. Понекогш сум тврдоглава и себична и мислам дека тоа и така треба. Во науката предрасудите скапо се плаќаат, па затоа изгледа дека повеќе знаеш за другите отколку за својата држава.
Излегува дека не само што си замислувате дека сте навработени, туку и халуцинирате дека лошо ви е во државата. Аргумент на професорите им беше дека нема литература доволно да докажи дека невработеноста е проблем, а можи и дека ФИРОМ не напишав ми одзедоја некој поен ха, ха...
Тајната на секој успех е во јакото кафе. Ако не сликав брзо, ќе ми претечеше :)

Мислам дека, не само тие, туку и вие би останале воодушевени од делот за невработеноста во Југославија. Дали ќе биде достапна јавно за Македонија, сеуште сум во размислување. Дека користам податоци од интервју и анкета ми е непријатно јавно да ги прикажувам тие податоци иако сите тие се прiбрани од анонимни учесници.
Следно. Работа или одиме за Докторат. И двете, па што ќе дојди прво, тоа. Впрочем и работата е специјализација, па сеедно ми е, Сега да почекам да поминат празнициве.
Мерак имам да пишувам и истражувам, а особено сакам јавно да се глупирам на разни теми.
Во принцип, сакам кога луѓето имаат свое мислење, па и да е погрешно. Внимателно слушајте и сигурна сум дека ќе дојдете до вистината. Не идеализрајте никого па ни себеси. Скромноста е доблест.
Тешки 2 и пол години во Лондон, самотија и сиромаштија. Во овие 2 години двете баби ми починаа во Прилеп, сега и без баба си останав. Тудот им го посветувам на двете мои баби: Дунавка и Блага. Исто така и на сите кои што помогнаа со прашалниците т.е. цела Македонија. Можи не бевме најдобри, ама им покажав каде сме на карта.
Во наредниве недели, ќе ги направам достапни сите мои написи на разни теми со надеж дека ќе ви помогнат да се инспирирате да продолжите по истиот пат или чисто за забава. Повелете тука
Ова беше подарок за професорот. И тој нека се радува на Македонија.







lunes, 19 de diciembre de 2016

How poor you poor have to be to get some attention?

I always thought to work on a dissertation about refugees or really poor countries that whole world is helping (but they are poor anyway) instead of writing about FYROM. Not only that unemployment is irrelevant to International development, but also the lack of material (scientific research) of unemployment in the Fyromanian country means that I am just dramatising about something that doesn't exist. It did for me! It meant something to me!
Ok, now try to explain that to the unemployed youth in Macedonia (sorry, meant FYROM) and the rest of the unemployed.
Means, you are not struggling with unemployment but just imagining things (for the western "scholars"). Unless you are dying of hunger and they have journalist writing about that, nagging over and over again, nobody is thinking of doing a thing.

What is being poor, marginalised or in exclusion? Nothing, if you don't have "scholars" writing about that and publishing papers on important sites. What I mean is there is that in international development there is more talking that actually doing something against poverty or in favour of social justice.
How poor should poor have to be to get some attention here? I
The poverty is monopolised by the western media. If you live in Europe, you can never be poor enough to qualify to get a bit of a sympathy from abroad. The irony to be even bigger, there is a inclination to use the poor countries (or unsuccessful) economies as an example. Example of what?
I had a serious lack of background material to support my arguments. All written texts are not to be included in a paper like this one, so many times I had to improvise. As I know my country of origin well, they are few things I agree upon with the fyromanian "scholars". Dare to improvise and suffer later!
In my university library there is not even a single book or anything about FYROM.
Other problem was that I have not been critical enough. i don't know how is that possible (I never agree on anything with anybody), but it is. One thing is not to agree on other people opinion (which you do all the time on Facebook when you attack others) but to critically asses things is a different thing. Its a process of different stages and I have already written about that on my blog in Macedonian. In my desperate try to express myself in a professional manner I have been too scared to think more broadly on my own. I acknowledge, it was my mistake and it hurts to have to hear that. I am working on that still, and maintain a blog to spit out about things that I never dare to say to my professors.
No introduction confused my markers. 😃Fair enough! I was to bored to fallow any rules, I thought as they are obliged to read it anyway, they would not need an introduction to call for their attention. Introduction is just a waste of space, according to my belief. Well, I was wrong!💣💔
I would love to hear another opinion about my dissertation, especially a distinctive FYROM-anian.
Should we choose to work on a subject that we have a lot of written or re-written, re-searched material to get everybody bored because we are not clever enough to produce our own? Just because they get better grades because of the use of sound arguments that everybody is talking about. That is why I am asking a Macedonian intellectual to asses my dissertation.
As I have mentioned in my previous blog posts, sometimes excellence is hard to achieve but still we need to strive for it. I understand it was not good enough and I know that a lot of improvements can be made. I am the one person that can be very hard on myself, but yet some reasonable support would have really made a difference.
And I understand it is not even that bad, but as it's not only about a "certificate" here, I still need better than that.
I am glad I did it for my birth country, Macedonia. If I have not done it, who else? It is the most logical choice, and I always enjoy people writing about their own country. This world would have been a better place if we all take care of the countries we belong to. It is obvious that, but often, we forget to care for those we have close to us. If it was to choose a "poor" country to send a powerful message from, Macedonia is the perfect example.
The problem is that I don't think anybody got any of my messages.
It is sad to see how our efforts go in vain after you complete what you thought to be the revelation of the century, just because you are not African or Asian poor enough for attention. Another solution would be to look for a better university where professionals know or have interest in Western Balkans and understand the undergoing and can support the relevant research topic. As Macedonian Spanish (and therefore European) I consider topics that are to my understanding relevant and people could relate to, trespassing borders. Not to mention the number of times I have been researching a subject beyond my comfort zone and ended up with the desire to help, but been "too white" to qualify for more than just thinking.
Well, I wasn't clever enough and went to be very "original" and now I feel a bit dumb. 💔
Maybe I am just a bad loser. Maybe all of that.

Either way, I consider myself a scholar: I am not scared to share my own opinion, go as far as nobody has gone, make a fool of myself, regret and start all over again.
I will embrace my limitations and laugh at my silly dissertation. I am happy to have done my best (at that moment) and this is just the begging. I am not even nearly done!
I feel dumb... Master of Science with Merits awarded, dumb 😊😉 💓
And I try desperately to forgive my markers by trying to like them more than I do. In fact, I went to the library just a week ago and took one of the books that my dear supervisor wrote about his own country. I just realised that I have been wrong about him all this time. He is a thoughtful and compassionate, and above all just as rebel as I am. Reading his book I like the fact that he rebels and talks openly against his country leaders. I was thinking - he won't get through the border next time he tries to enter the country. In a conversation he already pointed out to me that it has been years since he has been in his country of origin. I might be wrong, but after I read the first pages of his book and started google-ing things I realised that he is going against a dictator that arbitrarily kills and arrests people in his own country to maintain himself in power.
Even if we are far to care about our own lives, I would be still scared to fight them, when all my family is domed to live the country we left.
Not only that I understand and "love" my marker more with every page, but I ma learning a brand new things about one of the poorest countries on earth.
At the end of the day, we can never be as clever as others are. Over time we tend to lose the sense of shame and fear what other may say about the way we think.
This world would be such a better place to live if we start caring more about our own countries than we worry about others.
p.s. Soon to make available all my essays and dissertation for free download. Keep your eyes peeled for more!
Here are the first two I wrote in 2014, with mistakes included👅😜. Enjoy! Leave me your comments here. I will be happy to read them. Slowly, more to appear in coming mouth.


sábado, 17 de diciembre de 2016

The Compassionate Thinker Thouths

What are you saying about the idea of me getting paid to conduct a research with a university to determine the relationship between self employment and health issues. It an excellent subject where I would need to determine to what extent health issues determine the success of the person in starting and conducting successfully its own business. 

It would give me a great chance to "finish" my dissertation on Youth Unemployment and conduct a research focused on business success of the most vulnerable people in our society. 

As development economist, I think this could be very much applicable not only in developed countries but very useful to disadvantaged groups across the globe in developing communities. 

Mental health problems are a big issues in both developed and developing world, in most cases undetectable to human eye. Even in their visible forms they can come really handy. Let me not get to it really deep as I am not qualified to talk, but still, would dare to give my opinion.

Narcissistic people can be very annoying but great leaders; borderline are great charmers and good with persons evaluation. Than you have the antisocial, that you can place in an office and make him think for hours and never regret you left him alone. You might want to employ the obsessive compulsive to get a bit of order and discipline in your company and annoy everybody with boring details. 

Personality disorders are a great way to screw up your life, but still are an important addition to life. 

Glorifying people suffering cannot be acceptable, but once you learn to control it, you can put it in your own advantage. 

I love to talk more about this and make jokes because I understand what is like to suffer in silence and look in disbelief how your life crumbles in front of you and you feel like there is nothing you can do - just observe your own suffering. 

People often grow out from their problems and become compassionate  thinkers.

Others, more serious mental illnesses can be controlled with medicine and people achieve great success in their careers. 

Not everybody is born in a perfect family and the perfect country.  

Misery comes in all shapes or forms. In-distinctive of country of origin, due to our "disability" we might feel that we need a little bit more to get where other has gotten first. 

The subject offered by the university is related to applied economics, statistics and would need strong background in this particular subjects. 

I love statistics and would enjoy greatly. 

The objective is to influence the policy makers to design special support to help this category of people. 

It is very unusual for a faculty of management to go beyond profit interests and look at helping for this category of people to get and independent and fulfilling life outside the benefits system and compassionate looks. I am still in disbelief!!! 

As you know, scientists are really crazy!  


Let's not get carried away with the phrase that money don't bring happiness, because it does in a society where we are not able to grow our own fruit and vegetable and make our own cloths. 

Anyway, whoever thought of the subject to relate the unemployment and entrepreneurship with health issues is a compassionate thinker indeed. 

And here I am, admiring other people ideas 😃